Waiting, waiting, waiting

S had his monthly visit with his birth family Monday and it was as bad as we all feared it would be.  As soon as the social worker walked in the room, S started crying.  He was clinging to me so I had to walk him to the van, buckle him in (very hard to do because he was screaming/crying and trying his best to get out), kiss him on the head, reassure him 100 times that Mommy would be here when he got home (praying the whole time that he came back home), and walk away to the sound of him crying uncontrollably.  Yes I was crying by the time I got back in the house.  The social worker said he had the snobs from crying so much by the time they got on 770.  She also said it was difficult for him there because everyone was there and were trying their best to get his attention.  His cousin bothered him too much so he just bit her.  I know it has to be so confusing to him because they call themselves the same thing he KNOW us as and they call him something totally different from what we do.  My heart aches for him when he has to go on a visit.  I said that as I was putting him in the van and telling him I would be here when he got home, I was praying he would come home.  If you remember a few years ago a social worker and some foster children were blown up in the house while visiting a bio parent, so this is a fear of mine. When I am home on visit day I try to stay as busy as possible because if not I am eating everything in sight.  Monday I cleaned the shower and replanted some basil and a flower.  Each minute of the clock that ticks by after we were told he should be back is so nerving.  Yes I spend a lot of time on visit days talking to God.  He came home from his visit, had a bath, lunch, and a long nap.  As usual he was very clingy when he got back and was not happy when I got out of his sight.  After we put him in the bed for the night, he had a HORRIBLE asthma attack so I spent most of the night in the rocking chair in his room holding him. 
I titled this post waiting, waiting, waiting because that is what we are doing for his bio mom's rights to be terminated.  She has been served papers saying they were going to be terminated and were hoping the TPR court date would be before July 15 (next visit day) but that is not the case.  They are waiting until DSS has time to run the ad in the paper to try one last thing to locate his bio father.  His guardian told me tonight that they think TPR will be August 8th so that means he will have just one more visit and then that chapter of his little life will be OVER.  I will be soooooo glad when that happens.  Those days are just too difficult for him and needs to end!!!!!!  We know it will still be a while once TPR happens before his adoption his finalized and we are okay with that.  We just want his visits to be over so he does not have to go through that stress every month.  Here are a few pictures of him from this week.  He has really started climbing on everything.  In the pictures he is climbing in the new water table we got the kids.  He definitely is our silly monkey!!