When we signed up to be Foster parents, we did not know about visit day. Yes we heard a foster parent talk about visits and how she would do shared parenting on panel night but we did not have anyone tell us about how most foster children are affected by visit day. When we had our first H, we HATED visit days because she would come back sad, mad, confused, etc. During the summer, we had it set up where she would go to visits, come home for lunch, and we would then go straight to counseling. When we got Hannah we HATED visit days because she would come back not thinking she had to listen to us. She would also come back acting like a baby because they would carry her around as though she was one. When we got Monkey, we thought visit days would not be as bad as they were with the two older girls. Boy how we were WRONG because they are so much worse!!!!!!! We now LOATHE visit days!!!!!!! The day before and the morning of his visits, I just want to cry and put him in a bubble. I would also LOVE to run away with him. My heart breaks because I know how he is going to be when DSS shows up to get him. We have been told by Ms. Mary that when Gloria would come to get Monkey or C from daycare that Monkey would go ballistic as soon as he heard her voice. He now does the same thing with Mrs. Cynthia. They told us he starts crying and makes a beeline to Ms. Mary. He also starts shaking all over. He has been doing this for months now. Saturday we attended the yearly Foster Care picnic and he was totally fine until Ms. Gloria walked up. As soon as he saw her he started crying, shaking, and was trying his best to come out of the high chair to get to me. He started to cry another time during the afternoon when he saw her. The times when he has been here and had to go on visits has torn up my nerves (Ms. Mary said visit days tears her nerves up too) because he starts clinging to me and crying. When they would take him, he would look back at me crying like why are you letting them do this to me. He did this the entire way to the car. He would wake up happy, laughing, being his regular baby self but comes back VERY clingy and subdued. He is a different baby until at least the next morning. When he is home, we put him straight in the bathtub when he gets home from his visits. When he is at daycare, we have to send a wash cloth for them to wash him off and clothes to change him into. We started doing this when he came back several weeks clawing his skin. One week was so bad that when Mom got him from daycare, she had to wash him off and they were both crying because he was clawing so much. Are you starting to see why we hate visits?!?!?!
I hate knowing that he has a visit coming up because I know how awful it will be for him and as his mommy I want to protect him from as much hurt as possible. He screams, cries, and shakes when he has to go to visits or when he sees the people that takes him on a visit. I hate sending him to visits because I know how confusing it is to him. I am the mommy that he knows, Hannah is the sissy that he knows, and Mom is the Nana that he knows. I know it has to be very confusing to him to have another woman calling herself mom, someone else saying they are Nannie, and another little girl saying she is sissy. There are also the aunt, great-grandma, brother, cousins, etc. From what I have been told they are always trying to get him to perform instead of just letting him be himself. They are all pulling and tugging on him, kissing him, and taking pictures of him. The social worker told us that she was worn out after the last visit and she knew he had to be too. I tell him over and over how much I love him and how sorry I am on the morning of visits. I wish more than anything that I could snap my fingers and they would stop. We, including the social worker and his guardian, are hoping that tomorrow is his last visit. The court is VERY close to terminating his bio mom's rights and as soon as that happens he never has to go back for a visit. Right now our main prayer is that visits will stop. I hate what they do to him and I want him to not have to go back. I didn't even mention the nervous wreck that I am in the entire time he is gone especially if he is one minute longer than when they said they would be back. Visits are too nerve wracking for everyone so we are sooooooo ready for them to end.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Another Update Post
It seems like all I use this for is updates. As I said with my last post, I REALLY do hope to start back blogging on a more regular basis but since I have not done that this post will be another catch-up post. What has changed since March? Hannah has completed another successful year of school. She made all A's & B's and ended up really enjoying 4th grade. She is super excited about getting to go to her teacher's wedding in a week.
It is so hard to believe that she will be a 5th grader when school starts back in August. I have been thinking hard about where to send her for middle school and we still have not made that decision yet. The girls say I should let her go to Bethany Middle but I don't know. That will be added to our prayer list for her and we will do what God directs us to do. I love having her in my school where I can see her throughout the day and know what all she is doing. I also love being able to run and see her some on Field Day, PBIS celebrations, Award Day, and other events at the school. I really will miss this when she goes to middle school. Hannah has spent one week in Hickory with Mimi, Papa John, Uncle Matt, and Aunt Sherri and is looking forward to going back.
She leaves for camp next Sunday and can't wait for that. She has already read about 10 chapter books since school has been out. I love that she LOVES reading!!! We FINALLY had Hannah's 11th birthday party on May 18th. She wanted to ride horses for her party and well that just is not possible in January so we waited till May to have it at Shady Creek Farm.
Monkey is all monkey or maybe I should say octopus. We ofter wonder how he grab so many things so fast. It really does seem like he has 8 arms. He went from speed crawling to walking like an old man to running in a matter of a week or two. He has not learned that he has to look down, pay attention to things around him, and maybe even step over some things so this has resulted in almost constant bruises to his head and face area and a few black eyes. Dr. Burdine said he is convinced once kids start crawling they have a constant concussion until they are 2 or older. I seriously think this will be true for him. His vocabulary is growing everyday. His most common words are apple, cracker, Pepper, tank you (thank you) and his favorite is BALL or baoon (balloon). Every food is either apple or cracker and every animal is Pepper. Ball is his last word at night and his first word in the morning. He is very polite and will say tank you without being told to. Monday he raised his hands to me and when I picked him up he gave me a huge hug and said tank you. Needless to say it made my day! We are having great fun trying to find foods he will eat that does not have eggs or nuts. In case I didn't but it in another post S had a major allergic reaction to eggs one week after his first birthday party. We ended up at the allergist where for the time being he only tested being allergic to eggs but I was told multiple times that as he gets older more most likely will be added so we are avoiding eggs, shellfish, nuts, etc. We also found out that he has asthma so he is having breathing treatments two times a day and more if needed. Monkey LOVES his daycare especially Ms. Mary and Addison. We have been told several times that he was being "full of himself" and attacking all of his friends. Yes my baby has already spent time in time-out and gotten bad reports from his teacher. S is normally very loving but he can throw a temper just like anyone else. He has sharp teeth and is not shy in using them. Hannah must taste really good because she normally is his biting target. He also has strong hands that love to pull hair, glasses, and skin. We go back to court week this month. His new social worker is hoping his birth mother's rights will be terminated so we can end visits. Those days are awful. He screams and shakes as soon as the social worker comes in to get him or another child for that matter. It breaks my heart that he has to go through this and will be glad when it is all over and he is officially OURS!!!!! I am so ready to be able to share his adorable face with the world and not just the back of his head.
May 24th was a hard day for us because we had to tell our beautiful nieces bye. We are excited for them and their move to Greenville, SC but very sad for us that we won't get the see them and spend time with them like we have been doing. Hannah said it best when she said that she felt like a piece of her heart had been taken away. I feel the same way. I was at the hospital on the day they were born, kept them a lot during the summer, and took them to school until Lanie went to 1st grade. We have FaceTime with Lanie twice and that has helped some. We are looking forward to when they will be here visiting or we can go there.
4th Grade Awards
She leaves for camp next Sunday and can't wait for that. She has already read about 10 chapter books since school has been out. I love that she LOVES reading!!! We FINALLY had Hannah's 11th birthday party on May 18th. She wanted to ride horses for her party and well that just is not possible in January so we waited till May to have it at Shady Creek Farm.
Monkey is all monkey or maybe I should say octopus. We ofter wonder how he grab so many things so fast. It really does seem like he has 8 arms. He went from speed crawling to walking like an old man to running in a matter of a week or two. He has not learned that he has to look down, pay attention to things around him, and maybe even step over some things so this has resulted in almost constant bruises to his head and face area and a few black eyes. Dr. Burdine said he is convinced once kids start crawling they have a constant concussion until they are 2 or older. I seriously think this will be true for him. His vocabulary is growing everyday. His most common words are apple, cracker, Pepper, tank you (thank you) and his favorite is BALL or baoon (balloon). Every food is either apple or cracker and every animal is Pepper. Ball is his last word at night and his first word in the morning. He is very polite and will say tank you without being told to. Monday he raised his hands to me and when I picked him up he gave me a huge hug and said tank you. Needless to say it made my day! We are having great fun trying to find foods he will eat that does not have eggs or nuts. In case I didn't but it in another post S had a major allergic reaction to eggs one week after his first birthday party. We ended up at the allergist where for the time being he only tested being allergic to eggs but I was told multiple times that as he gets older more most likely will be added so we are avoiding eggs, shellfish, nuts, etc. We also found out that he has asthma so he is having breathing treatments two times a day and more if needed. Monkey LOVES his daycare especially Ms. Mary and Addison. We have been told several times that he was being "full of himself" and attacking all of his friends. Yes my baby has already spent time in time-out and gotten bad reports from his teacher. S is normally very loving but he can throw a temper just like anyone else. He has sharp teeth and is not shy in using them. Hannah must taste really good because she normally is his biting target. He also has strong hands that love to pull hair, glasses, and skin. We go back to court week this month. His new social worker is hoping his birth mother's rights will be terminated so we can end visits. Those days are awful. He screams and shakes as soon as the social worker comes in to get him or another child for that matter. It breaks my heart that he has to go through this and will be glad when it is all over and he is officially OURS!!!!! I am so ready to be able to share his adorable face with the world and not just the back of his head.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Long Time no Write
Well it has been a long time since I last posted. A week to the day of Hannah's adoption we got a phone call from DSS around 3:15 and at 6 we were at the hospital bringing home a 2 day old precious baby boy. S has been with us ever since. He is spoiled rotten and in to everything but is precious beyond words. His smile just lights up the room especially his "cheesy grin". I hope to get back blogging but life is always busy with an 11 year old and a 1 year old. Hannah is doing great in school. She has completed another year of Upward Basketball. She had a speaking part in the Christmas play at church and did really well. She is in chorus at school and loves to draw. I only wish she shared some of her drawings with us but she is making others happy by giving them away so I guess that will be okay. In January, I signed up for "Made To Crave" bible study. It is totally changed my life and made me much more aware to my addictions with food. Each week we were given a word of the week. I used those words to make a Wordle that I hope will attach to this post.
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/6467207/Made_To_Crave
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/6467207/Made_To_Crave
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Hannah's Adoption Story
Monday, November 21, 2011
How to Cook the Thanksgiving Meal
This year I asked my students what they like to eat for Thanksgiving. Using a graphic organizer students were able to write how they think you cook the food that they enjoy eating. We made a Voice Thread for all the recipes that were made. You can listen to each student tell how they would cook their dish. You can also click on the comment section and type or speak a comment to one or all of the voice threads. We hope you enjoy How we would cook the Thanksgiving meal.
http://voicethread.com/share/2464524/
http://voicethread.com/share/2464524/
Monday, November 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
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